I was writing earlier today about mean girls, and almost titled my post as that…how sad right? Guaranteed the girls I have following here are far from it — you are supportive, intelligent, successful, kind, generous and brave — all of you! Thanks. I have been incredibly lucky in finding so many fabulous friends in my fifty plus years.

That said, I learned a lesson recently about sticking too long around a mean girl. It can really bite you in the ass.  It was this community of fabulous friends that helped in my speedy recovery!

When I try counseling my daughters about girls, I remind them to try looking for the positives in each of your friends.  On occasion they may in fact let you down, but as a whole, you gotta have friends.

“Yes, Jane is always stabbing me in the back, but I know it’s coming!” Isn’t there something about the enemy you know versus…whatever!

Or, “Janie is always taking money or energy or food or drink, but I enjoy GIVING so much so that I get pleasure in watching her work me — she still thinks I have no clue — even tells clients that I am clueless.” Big smile, jokes on her, you all know that I much prefer giving over receiving.

“No, I do not like that about Janine, but letting her know that serves no real purpose.” When I have been completely honest with friends in the past they have disappeared, and I miss the things I liked about her way more than that creepy guy she was dating, or moved in with, or ditched our friendship for.  Not worth it.

At about forty, I began to realize that even grown women have a “middle school mean girl” side with back stabby, petty, under handed moves that can hurt ya. Maybe they don’t intend to hurt me, instead they are suffering some pain internal that I know nothing about.

I have certainly done or said things that hurt a friend with my slips of the tongue, lack of filter, quick movements. True friends will let you know what you’ve done and allow for heartfelt apologies. True friends are the family we choose as opposed to the one we are born into, lucky me to find you.

Thanks, this new sharing phase I am in has me so filled with gratitude for you all, that I want to say it again and again! R

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